Hideous welcome

The next chamber was wallpapered in the most hideously unspeakable colour. Not even the ablazest fury-fires of infernal hell could match this nightmare nuance of sadistic shade – it was an indescribably criminal colour, so I shan't describe it. So there...

Musteringly mouldy mucus mauved menacingly down the walls, gathering itself festeringly into a rancid pool of puddly pus on the evil, craggy ground.

'Orrible ooze grotted smellily all around, and the overall ethos of the place was like one of the more pestilential pits of limbo.

‘Welcome back,’ said Noel Edmonds.