Dead zombies

Good evening. Tonight a report has just come in, as another vital sector is hit by the recession. Dead zombies have been fired tenned on a large scale: employers hope that many (limbs) may be lost through "natural" wastage.

And now – the weather. Most parts of the country are still subject to weather but cut-backs have meant that parts of Wales and the Isle of Man are no longer receiving weather. *

Stir fried chicken are reported to be invading Hong Kong – here is a diagram of John Major's brain ----> · (to scale).

* Dear Sir,
I hope you are well & having weather...

Allusions

    { SATIS FECUNDITATIS
LIZ { PARUM CLARITATIS
    { NIMIUM SANITATIS

"It's an allusion [allegedly]"

Is this a question I see before me?

Oh no! Not another one!

No – here comes another one...

"Dead zombies don't hold tea parties," as the astronaut said to the takerunder.

Dead zombies are redundant. Q.E.D.

Carparking

It is a little know grassy knoll but nonetheless significant fact that 21 February is National Car Parking day. This event, ever since its establishment over 30 seconds ago, has become something of a national institution. Up and down the country events will be held, co-ordinated by the major sponsor of the day, NCP, and a record turn-out is expected. Participators have a host of features to enjoy – there will be workshops on the best techniques for car-parking, including a debate chaired by the Minister for Carparks and Disused Docklands, Sir Timothy Sprognall, dealing with the perennial problem: which is better, reverse or forward parking? There will also be special cinemas set up in various carparks, showing excerpts from many recent films involving scenes in carparks. British director Alan Park-er will be explaining why it is in fact impossible to make a thriller without a murder in a carpark, preferably an underground one.

An exhibition will also be on show, concerning "famous carparks of history" going right back to biblical chariot parks. The event promises to be a popular one, and members of the public are advised to arrive early, to be sure of finding a parking-place.

Front to back

The Book is back (or is it front? But the front is the back --> The book is back to tnorf). This time it's public (but soon to be made private).

M utually        )   No
A ssured         )-  thank
D econstruction  )   you

{A circular badge with an unhappy face in the centre, and the words "DECONSTRUCTION & CONCOMITANT INSANITY? NO THANKS" round the edge.}