["Blaaerhh"! "Milky milky"!]
Lovely.
Goat to work on an egg.
Q. "What did the pumpkin say when it was asked to be the tailor at a monastery?"
A. "Pumpkins don't talk."
Q. "What did the New York traffic lights say when they were asked to be the spaghetti at a gobblebarble?"
A. "Pedestrians – Don't Walk."
There was a young lady intent
On why limericks all rhyme in "Gwent"
Thus oddly inclined
She went out of her mind
That imprudent lady of Gwent.
Quoth that mad dame, "It's weird –
The others rhyme with 'beard'"
How sadly and wholly dement(ed).
"What's in a name?" Some funny wordy bits,
As phonemes, graphemes and their correlation
Some syllables, and sounds, in isolation
Which, were they placed, they'd have no referents.
(A slight disruption there, a nervous laugh
– 'Tis figured in the syntax's distraction
And in the faulty rhymes – now a quotation
"In a word, gramophone" (not "phonograph"
Unless we gramophone the gramophone
A possibility whose slight digression
May open up an infinite regression.)
Mayhap we'll leave the phonograph alone
And ask of the perfection Romeo owes
How much it needs the ponging of the rose?
A medium sized potato
OR
A potato sized Jeremy Beadle
Let now thy syntax depart in pieces
Mr Spock, him say "Sounds illogical, Captain, man"
Mr Kurtz, him dead Jim.
Lovely.
We asked: "Is Reason – Ratatouille?"
[Ratatouille]: This has got NOTHING to do with ME.
"Know the feeling" said a passing (odorous) squid.
"Know the odour" said (a) feeling, passing.
"Blaaearhhh" it added, vomiting.
Extract from a report by HMI1 on Sanity.
"Having undertaken a detailed study both of the contents (contexts? ed.) of this book, as well as the contents (or otherwise) of the cerebra of the individuals resident at 39 William st, we have come to the following conclusions:
(1) the person with the arachnine hand (and writing) is of a deconstructionist disposition... and could be dangerous. She calls herself Liz (frequently) and is often heard reciting the words of her gods De Ridah and De Man, She should be watched carefully (if only for the sake of amusement), but her gibber must at all costs be ignored.
(2) the person they call "Simon" also treads a path marching on insanity, mainly thanks to the influence of "Liz" and the handheld positronic ray buried in his cupboard. He is noted for his strictly regimented diet – spaghetti meaty chunks and cheese for lunch, Roast Beef for dinner. He too seems to have his own gods, but of a quite different kind – animist, almost – featuring goats, gnus, aardvarks and wombats. He too should be watched (unless there's something better on Channel 4)."
1 "Hermeneutical Mafia Inc?" shurely not...
Tulip exit metempsychosis
Telephone biscuit quite a neurosis
Strain broccoli oldie
Appendix quite mouldy
And peasant absence in five doses.
"My life was a geranium" said the geranium. The psychoanalyst looked concerned. Arthur looked concerned. Prince Charles looked the intellectual of the family. The intellectual looked back. You remind me of something that rhymes with 'alveolus'," he said.
"King?" hazarded Prince Charles.
"String?" jeopardized the geranium.
"Don't mind if I do," said Dougal.
Niagara cheeses.
"Mity cheese!" – James Joyce
Bruce Forsyth's wig
{"String" points to "A geranium", which points to "how". All three lead to a central scroll marked "UNTITLED", which in turn points to "really?". To the left side, an empty space points to "yes, yes", and thence also to "really?". A second empty space to the right is partially boxed.}
A sign which did not mean "No Parking"
Might then or might not have been marking
A bath-mat shaped radish
Of which you'd be gladdish
If flyswat balloon fish not barking.
