Trekemata

Enough of these τρεκηματα. Who is this chap Shakespeare anyway?

A fool once armed with a blunderbuss
Started a great big fuss
He aimed the gun at his head
But being in bed
Instead he was run over by a bus.

Sonnet 130.2

Sonnet 130.2 (or (?) "Shakespeare in the Original Klingon"

"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
Blood is more green than her antenna's green
If moons be four, why then her heads are one
If hairs be wires, black wires grow from her spleen.
I have seen noses stationed, left and right
But no such noses see I on her knees
And in an asteroid belt is more delight
Then when her several digits start to tease.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That micro-waves are much more audible.
I grant I never saw a goddess grow
But her expansions are implausible
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any that do go round breathing air!"