Free pizzas and an cucumber

Right, that's my shopping list – now let us stagnate to "sing" Him number 4086523, I'll repeat that, it's Basingstoke 4086523 for free pizzas and an cucumber.

And Abraham took an cucumber shouting "Glory be to Glug and Maglug – oops – no – that's my prop for innuendo – matron!" And the entire cast Carried On Up The Vicar. Much had they travel'd and much had they seen, when all at once they found an Queen, who had decreed that from this day, the world should use "an" instead of "a"; But anyone who dared to elk, Would whip themselves into a whelk, Which really isn't the best of rhymes – forgive me, these are desperate times.

There was an almightily violent noise at this point, and the island of Santorini erupted with the most almightily enormous, ears-into-skull-ly loud bang. Everyone within an four hundred lightyear radius was blown to smithernjones, with the possible exceptions of:

    (an) Groucho Marxist
    (b) That Elk Again!
    (c) The Third-Person Omniscient Narrator Perspective, who, having pressing business at the bank, had escaped three seconds earlier.

I thank you. Aaaghh! Splutter! [Dies.]