Seasonal stodge

SIMON'S SEASONAL STODGE

3 Christmas puddings (large)
½ tbsp roast turkey
1 carrot or onion
58 tsp salt
10 pts milk
6 rancid kippers
    sage
    bread sauce
3 gallons of liquid stuffing

(1) Put all ingredients (save the puds and turkey and salt and kippers) in a bowl or vat and mix at Gas Mark 17 until thoroughly exacerbated.

(2) Tear the kippers up and drop them out of the window onto the head or other bodily ailment of a passing vegetable.

(3) Eat the salt. (Best if downed in one.)

(4) Throw the turkey and Christmas pudding away, and serve. Have guillotine ready, as your dinner guests may despise you.