Real fairy cake

{Holly leaves and Christmas trees}

Snow is lying on the ground
And in the air the sleighbells sound
The frosty-patterned window-pane
It's British Summer Time again
(No it's not, it's Christmas...)

Yes, Christmas, and all children wait
For hoofbeats on the roof
But this year's stockings won't be filled
There's been a mighty goof
Yes, this year there's no peace on earth
No food and gifts abundant
For Father Christmas has been sacked
And his gnomes are all redundant.

Santa Claus is on the dole
He's UB40
His reindeer have been sold for glue
You might as well be naughty
Santa Claus is on the dole
Fini, kaputt, it's curtains
The magic sleigh's been repossessed
The suit's gone back to Burton's.

His elfin help has gone away
Oh, how will he survive?
The grotto rent's three months behind
And his giro's not arrived
He's too old to be reemployed
He's lost his little earner
The igloo heating's been cut off
He'll die of hypothermia...

Santa Claus is on the dole
He's getting thinner
Real fairy cake and Rudolf steak
Will be his Christmas dinner
Santa Claus is on the dole
And things don't look too handsome
His company is being probed
By TV's Esther Rantzen.

Ho, ho, ho.

{A snowman, with a flower in his hat, amid the falling snow.}