Albert the monster

There was a long green monster
A monster thick was he
He had an aunty Gertrude
And he took her out for tea

She tasted... green.....

The monster's name was Albert
He had a bowler hat
He kept it in a filbert
To hide it from his cat

The cat was... mean.....

The cat was sometimes oddish
The cat was sometimes mad
It liked to smell old codfish
Especially if bad

They smelt... obscene.....

Albert liked railway stations
And eating people's knitting
He didn't like orations
Or much excessive spitting

He was quite... clean.....

For a monster – though he dabbled
In mudsprings in a land which
Had dung-heaps where he paddled
With a putrid offal sandwich

Green – and obscene!