Are you an Author?

Are you an Author?

1. Are you Dead?

a) Yes   [2 points for being a wise guy and knowing what to do about it.]

b) No   [No points for galloping presumptuous empirical naïveté.]

c) Don't know.   [You are Hamlet. Don't let it worry you. Pass directly into writing and do not collect £200 for killing Rosencrantz/Guildenstern who are one up as they do not even know which one they are talking about.]

d) Only when there is a bulbul in the syllabub.   [Blithering babe! You're barking mad!]

e) Are you a subject?   [17,008 points for d*c*nstr*ct*ng first and asking questions afterwards. To be subtracted if you fail to question this statement.]

f) Doesn't that beg the question?   [Not good enough – see above.]

g) Is it a question?   [-7 – see above again.]

h) "                     "   [Correct. You are an author. You may even be "the" author. So we are not going to give you any points anyway. This questionnaire has already ignored you. Have a nice day, "now".]

I said "This is boring", and answered me – "so is this!".