The Antiplautus and the pluperfect conditional

    "Why hasn't Geoff extended the plot?" asked Plautus, time-jumping forward a couple and a bit millennia. (Charity? (ed))

    "Who knows?" replied his antimatter doppelganger.

"Which proves," Arthur reasoned slowly, "that you know!"

"Who?", "I?" said Plautus and Antiplautus, defining one another.

"One of you..." Arthur continued, "is the Antiplautus, the Wooffle Ooffle, the Pseud... THE AUTHOR." Sancho the Narrator trained the lengthy gunbarrel of Panza on them both. There was a tense silence. Pluperfect conditional, because no one knew what it sounded like. Apart from the Antiplautus, who was not telling.

"Confess," said the narrator. "Or the soup dragon gets it!"

"But he would had done so anyway," lied the tense.