The fishmonger joke

Once upon a time there was a tree with seven hats, also five noses. But then, perhaps one couldn't call it a tree. It didn't. But then it didn't call anything anything, even though anything was, which it probably wasn't, which just shows you. Not much. Never mind. Anyway, there was this tree, but it had four legs as well. In fact it is so confusing I am not going to write any more about it.

        Spool spool (oops!)

"There was this tree, right, with seven elephantine probosces and eighty-seven washing-machine attachments, and it went into a pub, right, and there was a goat in there buying a packet of crisps, and the tree went up to the bar, shouting 'Where's the money?' and this old bloke, right, sitting at the bar in a puddle of beer-belly, he said, 'Stop shouting, you old tree!', and the barman says 'Not today thanks, I'm a fishmonger!'"
        (Martian Joke Magazine 1993)

"Thou art a fishmonger!" said Hamlet, and with that historic utterance, spotted the audience. "Yikes!" he said, in anticipatory citation.