Dipstick

There once was an MP called Gyles
Who wore jumpers and hideous smiles
He went mad, got elected...
And shortly rejected,
But his jumpers could be heard for miles.

I used to like lying in bed
But I've found something nicer instead
A rotten old mission
Called decomposition —
But it's possible only if dead.

There once was a Radio Times
Which was used to mop up household grimes
It was usually bearable
(But utterly terrible
Throughout the Olympic Gimes).

I once bought myself a pet cat
But I smashed it to bits with a bat
Then I purchased a second
But dinnertime beckoned
So I microwaved it — and that's that.