Gravity play

{Spiralling clockwise outwards, interspersed with the words "READ THIS AND YOU'LL READ ANYTHING!":}

"A periphrastic study in a worn out poetical fashion." Because the origin is always a trace! Not know I here from go? The mistake was to mime closure to start, as though reasoning, from the outside and work in. The outside is the inside. Redundancy of classification. So you think the text is a circle or a regress, {the words break away from the spiral, float up the side of the page, and bob upside down at the top} collapsing out of any order or {upside down} inverted. But it defies even the laws of gravity to scandalize and immeasurably enrich SPLIT INFINITIVE all contexts with linguistic play.

MADMEN SAY POPACATEPETL (rates 5 on 1-4 scale)
TO BAGPUIZE.
(OR NOT TO BAGPUIZE...)

Boustrophedon

Lps. Given. Is it?

Frankie writes (because deceased) — Do logical positivists mean no, and does it matter? Bagpuize to you too, with side order of mango chutney.

βουστροφηδόν (Gk from Snakes & Ladders) [or Oxen & Benders] (or something)

Swiss roll

{Roadsign:}

// Kingston Bagpuize         4
    (on a scale of 1 to 4 for silly names)

Follow {roundabout} signs for

INFINITE REGRESS (and
stops to VICIOUS CIRCLE) // <-- SIGN!!

Logical positivists say NO to text before madness.
Surrealists say Bagpuize to madness.
Frankie says nothing, 'cos he's dead.

{Spiralling clockwise inwards:}

This excerpt of text has determined that it will not be confined within the rigid boundaries of lines, even if it is more awkward to read things when they are inscribed βουστροφαδων. But there you have it — this is a rad text — not to be trifled with, to be deconstructed as your peril --> indeed this text comprises a self-enacting, self-aware, hip-hop, ice-cool, dudish, well adjusted and contextualized item, even if it does now resemble a swiss roll.

{At the centre of the spiral:}

Where do we go from here — I know not!

The fishmonger joke

Once upon a time there was a tree with seven hats, also five noses. But then, perhaps one couldn't call it a tree. It didn't. But then it didn't call anything anything, even though anything was, which it probably wasn't, which just shows you. Not much. Never mind. Anyway, there was this tree, but it had four legs as well. In fact it is so confusing I am not going to write any more about it.

        Spool spool (oops!)

"There was this tree, right, with seven elephantine probosces and eighty-seven washing-machine attachments, and it went into a pub, right, and there was a goat in there buying a packet of crisps, and the tree went up to the bar, shouting 'Where's the money?' and this old bloke, right, sitting at the bar in a puddle of beer-belly, he said, 'Stop shouting, you old tree!', and the barman says 'Not today thanks, I'm a fishmonger!'"
        (Martian Joke Magazine 1993)

"Thou art a fishmonger!" said Hamlet, and with that historic utterance, spotted the audience. "Yikes!" he said, in anticipatory citation.

Limericks at dawn

A girl by the name of Beaumont Bissell
Once accidentally trod on a thistle
She cried out in distress
"This isn't a text"
And went back to listen to Harrison Birtwhistle.

An optimistic chap called Greatrex
Had an inadequate appreciation of context
He wasn't very good with rhyme, either
And metre caused him problems as well
He still wanted to be world dictator. Whatever next!

Raving other

"The rains in Spain fall mainly in the plain" (Shaw)

            "Not so!" (Sure?)

"Is Spain anyway?" (Uncertain)

"Boo!" (Trad.)

"Boo boop-i-doo" (Marilyn Monroe)

"Yikes!" (Scooby-Doo)

"How!" (Geronimo, attrib.)

"Wibbly wobbly plibble splonge" (Rolf Harris)

Anyone who smothers their brother with their mother — raving other!"

Return of the Pope

2 more approaches

"Extraordinary" — D. Coleman

"Great, smashing, super" — J. Bowen

"representative fractions of the mind" (Northern Expo)

"Barcelona! When the wind comes rolling down the plain" (Oxpo 92)

"Grunge the bastards" (The Pope)

The Pope has returned! Exalt! Exalt! Oh ye who have no hair!

And the third day he rose again from the bed, and ascended in a milkfloat, crying "Wholly, wholly, wally! Inconsistent and insane. Thou art nothing like Ken Dodd! Heaven and earth are full of thy beetroots. Amen. Are they?"

    And the firmament fell back into the sea
    Except it didn't, for our very God
    Had omitted the invention of gravity
    Hallelujah! And how very odd.