Generous irony

There once was a person sardonic/laconic
Who was often considered moronic,
If one ever protested
At what she'd suggested
She'd reply, "I was being IRONIC!"

    There once was a bucket of soot
    Into which I mistakenly put
    Some inflammable hair
    And a chocolate éclair,
    The result? — well, it blew off my foot.

    One ontological high flier
    Loved the existential quantifier
    And had it existed
    Could not have resisted
    The transcendental signifier.

To the logocentric discourse imperious
Which cannot be taken for serious
One attributes inanity
And sometimes insanity
Ironically — only when generous!

As the sign operates through analogy
And the truth of truth is a tautology
There are no pragmatics
Without problematics
And the future is in grammatology.

    Have a nice day.

Archaeopteryx

There existed a very strange chap
Who created a game with a map,
It was all about fish
And it looked very swish
But it was really a pile of crap.

There once were some folk who wrote limericks
For rhymes they were frequently in a fix
It became such a feat
That I've started to cheat
And am ending this one — archaeopteryx.

There once were some folk who wrote limericks
About intertextual metaphysics
They were over two-thirds
Full of very long words
And they scanned as iambic anapaestics.

There once was a yak in the bath
And an elephant under the path
There were eggs in the trees
With a plate of cream-teas
Oh, this limerick's good for a laugh.

Il n'y a pas d'hors-texte

There once was a person called Liz
Who would get in a terrible tizz
If one slagged off the text
She'd get awfully vexed
For she claimed she's a text — and she is!

There once was a textual vision
Which embodied a loony position
It was not white or black
Or a smelly old yak
But a mere binary opposition.

Horrendously purple monstrosities
Used to spout lots of verbal pomposities,
Though they may have been right
On a Saturday night,
On a Sunday they were useless verbosities.

There once was a chap who was vexed
That writing had thinking annexed
Tho' you may deride it
There's nothing outside it
And therefore "Il n'y a pas d'hors-texte."

Well-past-its-sell-by-date logic

There was a young lass of Bridport
Who bought lots of books she ought
not. Therein lay no knowledge
Yet still she wouldn't acknowledge
Their contents were of no import.

I refer you firstly to the relation between poesis and noesis.

Secondly...

A young man constrained by his metaphysic
And well-past-its-sell-by-date logic
Found the undecidability
Of an Other rationality
Quite outside his faculties analytic.

That is quite awful. (not awe-ful.)

In a book made of more than just words
Lay some limericks (food for the birds!)
One was totally smothered
'Cos the other one othered
Though they scanned like a pair of old nerds.

There was an argument quite consequential
Of matters almost influential
But its process poetic
And form esoteric
Showed it to be self-referential. 19/20

I love existential quantifiers

"Mind the broken Glas! Mind the broken Glas — or is it groken blah!"

"You've never had it so good, yet the nays have it — {therefore} the nays have never had it so good."

There was once a most ridiculous sect
Who constantly idolized the text
It was their consistent perpetual joy
To link everything with Freud
So that at the heart of each matter lay sex.

There was a young man who thought noesis
Bore no relation to poesis
And as for the word
He thought it absurd
He may be in need of analysis.

{Universal quantifier} x (x reads Glas --> ¬ TRYING TO SHOW OFF KNOWLEDGE OF LOGIC SYMBOLS; BUT "NOY" SYMBOLISED BY ~ x is sane)

{Existential quantifier} y {(y is at Exeter College ^ y reads Glas) --> y's mental health suffers}

I {heart} Existential Quantifiers

Fore legs good

    "'Twas Aye!" yelled the Speaker until his tonsils fell out, "Aye — the Nay's have it (and the vote)."

    The nays, indeed, were dying of it like flies. "Neigh!" they said, and flew. The flies pigged like death. "Fore legs good, back legs bad." The pigs balanced then overbalanced, overdetermined, by a volley of nays. "Throw the burglar!" said the telephone, answering, as ever, itself. "Drawer, the aeronaut," corrected itself, ever, that is. Dial 666 for the problematics of translation — no fish, I don't want to die like a Ney.

    "What, is he dead, then?" prayed pathetically the holy how-alliteratively heart brass-handled door-nail dead Hopkins (Gerard Manley-ish, also deceased). Martial! Yes, he also. Farewell, the plumed troop?

    But remember that one man (sorry, person; sorry life-form; sorry (ad infinitum))'s FiSh is another etc's poisson...

The sentence-pede

    "'Twas I!" yelled the centipude, breathing sickly black venom into her own major intestinal bat, "I left it out in the raining pour!"

    "It's raining yaks and dogs," moaned Marvin rustily, "I've just put my foot in a poodle."

    "'Twas Eye!" yelled the centipodule, breathing sickly blue pustules of sick into his own minor un-armpit, "I poured warty water out of the raining pour."

    "Yes?" inquired Old Mouldy the Disgusting Warthog meaninglessly, pouring with rain himself, though never before lunch on Sundays (barmitzvahs an exception).

    "'Twas I!" yelled the sentence-pede, who was also Warden at Bretton Youth Hostel, "in t' forties and fifties we had real rainstorms — there was a Warden once, aye!"

    "Shut up you old loony," yelled the centipoff, who had had enough "had"s in one sentence; all became clear as muddy daylight, and the sentence-pede fell away into a surreal and non-existent Northern dimension of his own devises.